war is heck

khytal: kaze

Wed, 27 Jun 2018 07:40:09 +1000

khytal:

kaze

spider-man-sass: 1000% done.

Wed, 27 Jun 2018 01:18:36 +1000

spider-man-sass:

1000% done.

Photo

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 22:35:43 +1000

2000ish: #me while watching my favourite show/movie

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 22:30:21 +1000

2000ish:

#me while watching my favourite show/movie

lesbianshepard: lesbianshepard: in theory its super bad when straight dudes go “hey ur a lesbian?...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 03:05:23 +1000

lesbianshepard:

lesbianshepard:

in theory its super bad when straight dudes go “hey ur a lesbian? we both like girls we’re the same!” but in reality this has happened twice and most recently was today when a guy i was training in the frame shop went “oh you’re gay?” “yea” “that’s cool. it’s cool that you told me. we both like girls and star wars so it’s nice that we have a shift together :)” like god damn it brett you’re so respectful and thoughtful with your goddamned words

the posts that are like “straight men can never love a woman like a lesbian” are cool jokes and stuff but u gotta really appreciate dudes who have no idea what its like to be gay but try their best to try and relate. “we both like hot ladies” you know what, ryan? that’s close enough. i appreciate that.

Photo

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 22:32:45 +1000

darknetexclusivetouhouterrorcore:

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 21:50:09 +1000

darknetexclusivetouhouterrorcore:

eat-apples: chunky boy has a gift for u 🌷

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 21:49:42 +1000

eat-apples:

chunky boy has a gift for u 🌷

gluten-free-pussy: gluten-free-pussy: When I was 16-19 I worked as a hostess/parking lot attendant...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 21:49:28 +1000

gluten-free-pussy:

gluten-free-pussy:

When I was 16-19 I worked as a hostess/parking lot attendant at a funeral home and my boss told me (and I quote) “you get a friends and family discount but once you quit you won’t get it anymore so make sure you use it.” And to this day nothing has ever been funnier to me

A week after I got the job I accidentally spilled someone’s ashes on myself and my manager told me not to worry about it because they had spare ashes in the back room

Photo

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 12:19:39 +1000

antleredpsychopomp: Getting up at 6 am IRL: aw fuck it’s so early oh my god Getting up at 6 am in an...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 12:17:47 +1000

antleredpsychopomp:

Getting up at 6 am IRL: aw fuck it’s so early oh my god

Getting up at 6 am in an rpg: *banging pots and pans together in front of the cobbler’s shop* WAKEY WAKEY THE SUN IS UP I WANT SOME SHOOOOOOOES

Photo

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 12:17:20 +1000

everydaylouie: smeargle tries to help mimikyuu but can only draw...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 12:15:13 +1000

everydaylouie:

smeargle tries to help mimikyuu but can only draw bad anime

Photo

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 01:27:30 +1000

catifex: fadingnebula: teratomarty: gallusrostromegalus: reyroace: reyroace: humandisastersquad...

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 18:20:57 +1000

catifex:

fadingnebula:

teratomarty:

gallusrostromegalus:

reyroace:

reyroace:

humandisastersquad:

kickin-jeans:

toast-potent:

tilthat:

TIL that due to their small brains koalas are unable to perform complex, unfamiliar tasks such as eat leaves off of flat surfaces.

via reddit.com

how are they even alive

eucalyptus trees are full of flammable oil that causes the trees to explode during forest fires, killing other trees and spreading its seeds to grow in their place. koalas survive solely because nothing else in their environment Wants To Eat The Fucking Bombs

#I WROTE THIS POST #god dont get me fuckin started #the NUMBER of times ive Gone Off abt koalas in zooarch class #on a scale of koalas to wombats how good is ur marsupial at Being Alive #hey hey u know what else? koalas are so picky with their diet that theyll only eat the leaves of one (1) type of eucalypt #and even then ONLY specimens of that tree that are within a very tight geographic range of where the koala was born #the rescue centre in my city? they have to ship branches from all over the state bc koalas there physically Will Not Eat anything thats not #from their very very small very precise home range #theyd rather starve to death than try leaves from like the next suburb over #i have 60 other reasons why koalas spit in the face of natural selection hmu if you want YELLING i cant be bothered to list them all here #god theyre so incomprehensibly dumb. god #HEY ALSO the reason their brains are so small is bc YEah the one SINGLE species of tree they eat is incredibly toxic #their diet consists of 1 food and it is Brain-Shrinking Poison (@reyroace)

oh u like that? try this one: the main natural cause of death in koalas is starvation, because

1) their dumbass teeth are SHIT. to be a herbivore and chomp cellulose all day u need some real tough grinders in there, and almost every other herbivore in nature has SOME sort of dental adaptation to make sure they dont run out of tooth by the time they hit middle age. horses have big tall teeth, wombat teeth grow forever, kangaroos have got a little conveyor belt system goin on, etc etc everyone’s doin SOMETHING except fuckign koalas. idiots have tiny fuckin shortass normal teeth that do an okay job for maybe like 15 years and then wear down and leave them with ridiculous fuckin useless old man gums that do shit all. but thats fine bc all koalas do anyway is sit in trees and sleep 22hrs a day then wake up and scream and eat poison and they do this all day every day until they run out of teeth at which point they just fall out of the tree and die

2) idiots can’t die any other fuckin way bc nothing in nature wants to eat them bc their bodies are chocker block with LITERAL poison. fuckin USELESS their flesh just sits around and slowly rots bc its too gross-tasting and toxic for any animal w half a brain cell to think abt going near it. have yall ever seen koala viscera. bc i have and let me tell u that shit is RANK. looks like the inside of a smoker’s lung from some fuckdamn nicabate ad bc the tannins in eucalypt leaves stain their organs like khaki black. like some fuckin dark!steve irwin costume well better piss ur way right off from this one anti-steve bc thats a natural defense mechanism meant to warn u that koalas should in no way be alive and if u touch them theyll drag u into their stupid evolutionary dead-end where they get to sit around all day doin fuck all and pumpin themselves full of brain-killing poison while we run around makin them our olympic games mascots and pretending theyre cute and honest to god looking for ways to save them from the brink of extinction which actually is unnecessary bc a) theyre not really endangered at all, nature is a fuckign miracle and b) the drongos clearly want to die so i say let em

by the way i never elaborated on “koalas sit in trees all day screaming” but heres a lil fuckin. heres a fun nugget heres a lil soundbyte this is what koalas sound like

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmeBQVQIsTU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0cAx1jLbJk

My favorite story about Koalas comes from the book “The Killer Koala: Humorous Australian Bush Stories” By Kenneth Cook, which is an excellently good book with some A+ storytelling. he describes the Koala’s “Anti-Dingo Defense”, wherein they latch on to the belly of the dingo to slow down the rate at which they are being consumed alive by starving canid, gradually trn themselves around until they’ve got thier head in the Dingo’s crotch, and then procede to BITE THE SHIT out of the Dingo’s Tender Bits, whilst clowing at the ribs and projectile-evacuating thier bowels,

Mr. Cook found out about the Anti-Dingo Defense beause he was tricked into ‘rescuing’ a bunch of koalas off an island by the promise of a Hot Date with a young lady, wondered why they were all being given armored aprons to handle the koalas with, only to find out firsthand, which pretty much ruined his prospects of a date.

What I’m getting is that koalas are basically Australian-grade Death Sloths.

Not to mention they have smooth brains, the only mammals I’m aware that have that, which means the surface area of their brain, while already being pea sized, is even more drastically reduced compared to every other mammal out there, meaning they can barely form memories or store really any amount of information cause they just have factors less brain cells than any other self respecting internal baby maker. Fuckin hilarious.

new insult: dumb as a koala

magemg:6/27!

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 16:54:15 +1000

magemg:

6/27!

shycatdreaming: srsfunny: Boris Doesn’t Mess Around “Boris is...

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 12:24:32 +1000

shycatdreaming:

srsfunny:

Boris Doesn’t Mess Around

“Boris is name of accent. Has life of its own.”

*under her bed laughing hysterically*

orchestraordie: orchestraordie: guys at my university I have a part time job where my sole...

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 03:44:58 +1000

orchestraordie:

orchestraordie:

guys at my university I have a part time job where my sole responsibility is filling up the piano humidifaction systems with water

I literally am a piano waterer & tbh I kinda feel like I’m thriving

I feel like I need to add that I carry around this water jug that kinda looks like a regular watering can and when people ask me what I’m doing I just say “watering the pianos” and walk away

horsechurch:

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 03:37:11 +1000

horsechurch:

greelin: greelin: love adding -ed to the dumbest shit. love unnecessarily conjugating verbs....

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 03:25:15 +1000

greelin:

greelin:

love adding -ed to the dumbest shit. love unnecessarily conjugating verbs. poppedcorn. oranged juice. that corn? popped. the juice? it’s been oranged

[wakes up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night] ………………….cheesed burger